She Could Be You
by rossyfoss
Summary: What would have happened if Arthur hadn't died in the series finale what if he had secretly been in love with Merlin all along... And now that he knows Merlins secret he doesn't accept it. Arthur/Merlin Merlin/Lancelot
1. Chapter 1

Authors note

So this is my first story that I have ever actually posted so keep your fingers crossed and wish me luck...  
This is a Merther story and I know haters are gonna hate but I am warning you now one more time before you start reading, that this is YAOI SLASH GAY COUPLING WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT MAN ON MAN ACTION SHALL ENSUE SO IF THATS NOT YOUR CUP OF TEA AND YOUR GOING TO FILL MY COMMENTS WITH HATE MAIL LEAVE NOW HIT THE X BUTTON PRESS BACK WHATEVER. Okay so now that thats out of my system as I previously stated this is a Merther story if you do not know what that is, it is Merlin/Arthur from the 2008 hit TV series Merlin on BBC. This is a songfic I think.. Its based on the song She could be you by Shawn Hlookoff

Disclaimer: I do not own or have any Affiliation with BBC or the creators of Merlin. Trust me if I did they would have gotten together in first season and it would be a more adult show. ( If you know what I mean*wink wink nudge nudge*) I also do not own or have any rights to this Shawn Hlookoff song or any others. But I do suggest you look him up he is way to underrated of a singer for how good he is.

So I'm gonna shut up now and here is the story.

-

She could be you (1/?)  
By:Rossyfoss  
Rating: PG-13 For drug use and language.(will be R for later chapters.)

_I'm haunted by this photograph  
Don't know why  
Everytime I look, I get shivers down my spine  
/_

Arthur smiled lightly as his hand traced over the helmet he had owned since he was old enough to wear it and actually see through the opening for his eyes. The helmet that had long sat on a shelf rusted from age. He remembered the first time that his servant had handed it to him clumsily then handing him his sword, after forgetting it. That has been what felt like ages ago but rather it had only been three years. Arthur couldn't believe that it had been three years since that stupid annoying little brat of a boy had saved his life. His father automatically rewarding him and punishing Arthur. Or at least at the time, it had seemed like a punishment, now he was grateful because it was a gift what his father did that day.

Merlin had quickly found a way into his heart. First becoming a friend, Then a brother. Once they got closer Arthur could feel something, deep inside, a tug at his heart every time Merlin smiled or laughed that idiotic laugh of his. Arthur couldn't understand how someone could irritate him so much that he wanted to kill him, then a second later make him blush like an idiot. He wondered if he would ever be able to understand what it was that Merlin was turning him into. He had almost figured it out to until the day of The Battle of Camlann. When he had sat in the forest dying and Merlin had told him his secret.

That moment had changed everything. Had he ever truly been in love with Merlin or had the warlock cast a spell on him? This ground shattering secret had changed him. It made Arthur question himself and his heart. It made him ask so many questions that he wondered if he would ever get answers to.

Arthur was now just a shell of what he used to be, a man in love. Things could have been so much different if Merlin had told him earlier, if he had just been honest after Arthur's father had died. If he had just told him then. But deep down Arthur knew the truth, he knew that things could never be the same.

-  
_She could be you  
But that was long ago  
She could be you_

Merlin wiped his eyes as the tears came again. It had been like this since The Battle of Camlann when he told Arthur who he truly was. Arthur hadn't spoken to him since that day, or rather he had not spoken to him as he used to. Now it was all harsh orders that were barked at him and hateful looks and words. Merlin couldn't believe he had been so stupid. Why did he tell him he should have known this would happen. Arthur was just as judgmental and hatred-filled as his father. He should have known better then to trust him.

"So much for being a better king then your father." He growled.

He was so angry at Arthur for reacting like this it had been nearly a month and he still hadn't gotten over it and Merlin was starting to wonder if he ever would. If Arthur would ever feel the same way about him again. Or if he would still feel the same way about Arthur.

_I wish that i could tell you  
What you don't know  
I dream about that day  
But it's impossible  
In another world,  
I'll be yours tonight  
But i can't break free from this life  
/_

Merlin had realized he was in love with Arthur whenever Uther had offered him that chalice. He realized in that moment that he was willing to give his life for Arthur, even now after everything that had been said and done he would die before seeing Arthur hurt. He would lay his life down on the line if it meant that Arthur could live a day longer then him.

Sometimes at night he used to wonder if Arthur felt the same way but now there was no doubt in his mind that Arthur would never return his feelings no matter how much Merlin wished he would.

Merlin shook his head standing up and slowly getting ready for another day in this living hell. Did he want to see Arthur? Yes. Did he want to get treated like a leper and an all around piece of shit?

"Hell no" He said to himself as he lifted up the clothes basket lid only to realize he had forgotten to bring his clothes to the cleaners last night. He decided to go into Guies old trunk he was rummaging through it when he found an odd looking bowl with some kind of what looked like some form of herb. He then realized it must be cannabis he sat down on the bed for a second starring at the herb debating whether or not he should.

He had done it a few times before, mostly to relieve stress but it wasn't that easy to come by in the kingdom its not that it was illegal or anything it was just expensive. He sighed once more before grabbing a small timber lighting the end to a flame and touching the fire to the bowl.

Arthur stormed in through the door way of the former physicians home. Merlin was late and he was pissed. He had not expected to find the servant smoking what looked to be cannabis. He stood there for a few moments almost dumbfounded.

Merlin looked up and he put on a smile that stretched from ear to ear. "Arthur I'm glad you made it." He said his voice sounding rasp as if he had a sore throat.

"What the hell do you think your doing?" Arthur yelled after shaking himself out of his shocked phase.

"I'm trying to de-stress I mean with you being such a pompous asshole as of late I figured I deserved some time to myself." Merlin said still with a smile on his face.

-  
Thought this would be a good place to end. Message me if you like it and want me to do more chapters.:D


	2. Chapter 2

Authors note:

By the reviews I got last night for chapter one I figured I would whip up another little teaser chapter sorry its so short I might put chapter three up tomorrow

This is a Merther story and I know haters are gonna hate but I am warning you now one more time before you start reading, that this is YAOI SLASH GAY COUPLING WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT MAN ON MAN ACTION SHALL ENSUE SO IF THATS NOT YOUR CUP OF TEA AND YOUR GOING TO FILL MY COMMENTS WITH HATE MAIL LEAVE NOW HIT THE X BUTTON PRESS BACK WHATEVER. Okay so now that thats out of my system as I previously stated this is a Merther story if you do not know what that is, it is Merlin/Arthur from the 2008 hit TV series Merlin on BBC. This is a songfic I think.. Its based on the song She could be you by Shawn Hlookoff

Disclaimer: As I said last time. I do not own or have any Affiliation with BBC or the creators of Merlin. Trust me if I did they would have gotten together in first season and it would be a more adult show. ( If you know what I mean*wink wink nudge nudge*) I also do not own or have any rights to this Shawn Hlookoff song or any others. But I do suggest you look him up he is way to underrated of a singer for how good he is.

So just incase you missed or forgot the last chapter heres the summary:

We left off at where season five ends except Arthur never died (yay!) when they get back to camelot Arthur has new knowladge of Merlin being a wizard and he is very angry at Merlin for not telling him sooner. So he basically shuts Merlin out along with denying the feelings he has for him. He starts treatin Merlin like shit which sends Merlin into a down-spiral and events lead up to Merlin smoking weed! Yes I said it He smokes weed! Then Arthur walks in and this happens...

Arthur stormed in through the door way of the former physicians home. Merlin was late and he was pissed. He had not expected to find the servant smoking what looked to be cannabis. He stood there for a few moments almost dumbfounded.

Merlin looked up and he put on a smile that stretched from ear to ear. "Arthur I'm glad you made it." He said his voice sounding rasp as if he had a sore throat.

"What the hell do you think your doing?" Arthur yelled after shaking himself out of his shocked phase.

"I'm trying to de-stress I mean with you being such a pompous asshole as of late I figured I deserved some time to myself." Merlin said still with a smile on his face.

And thats where chapter on left off! Suspenseful aye? well now heres chapter two enjoy :D

She could be you (2/?)  
By:Rossyfoss  
Rating: PG-13 For drug use and language.(will be R for later chapters.)

"How dare you say that to your king!" Arthur practically screamed at his servent.

"I'm sorry I meant royal pompous asshole. Better?" Merlin spit back a smile still on his face.

Arthur lost it at that, the next thing he knew Merlin was on the ground and his fist was throbbing. But he didn't stop there he got on top of him just staring down at him.

"Do it hit me again. It would make you no diffrent then the man you swore to me you would never become." Merlin whispered.

But Arthur didn't hit him no what he did then shocked Merlin more then anything in his life ever had. Arthur Pendragon king of Camelot leaned down and kissed him. On the lips. Arthur was kissing him. He was so shocked that it took him what felt like a year to actually return said kiss.

"mmmm?" Merlin tried to speak pushing Arthur away a little. It's not that he didn't want Arthur to kiss him he just wasn't sure why the other boy was kissing him. " Arthur what are you doing?"

"I-I thought you wanted this?" Arthur stammered.

"I do but do you want it?" Merlin whispered.

Arthur's reply was in the form of another much more harsh kiss to which Merlin automatically returned pushing his tongue out to lick Arthurs lips. Arthur automatically returned the favor.

"Arthur" Merlin nearly growled when the other boy started kissing down his neck then removing his shirt which would eventually be followed by the rest of their clothes.

_I see it all the time  
I know it's true  
A picture doesn't lie_

Two weeks it had been two weeks since Arthur and Merlin had had sex. And now Arthur was being more cold to him then he had been before. He wasn't yelling or being an asshole he just simply didn't talk to him. He would ignore him unless he absolutely had to acknowledge his existence which was rare. Merlin had noticed the too long glances and the brooding he couldn't ignore that he looked like a love sick puppy but that was defiantly not how he was acting. Merlin just wished he would hit him again and get this whole thing over with. But he knew that Arthur had to much pride to admit how he felt about anything let alone anyone. He really hated him some times.

Another month passed before the two ever actually discussed what had happened. Merlin finally snapped and hit Arthur. Arthur has brushed past him in the hallway and he turned around to say sorry only to find that he was starring at him with that love sick look in his eyes yet again and Merlin lost it he couldn't deal with it he hit ARthur so hard that his fist started bleeding from the impact.

After that Arthur had starred at him for a god five minutes before getting up and hugging Merlin.

"I'm sorry Merlin.. For everything" He said quietly.

They went to Arthur's chambers and talked for the first time in a long time just like they used to and it felt good to be like this again.

"You know it can't happen again." Arthur looked at him solemnly.

"I know your a king and I'm just your servant this is Camelot not a romance novel." Merlin's heart betrayed him just then as he could almost feel it shatter into a million small little pieces.

Chapter three should be up next week! Leave comments and reviews!


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